Fitness at its finest

I'm skinnier now than I've ever been in my whole adult life, and I'm not ready to be done yet. 

When I was in high school I always felt like the heavy one.  Not fat, but by no means as thin as my friends.  I admired from afar the "skinny" girls and I wanted to be like them.  They just seemed so flawless.  And then there was me, tall and heavy.  Not overweight, I like around a buck fifty, but not what I thought I should be and definitely not what I wanted to be.  But that didn't stop me from the road trips to McDonalds, or the munching on chips all day long.  And candy, sour patch kids among other various sorts of candy were always on my body or not far. 

Then I went to college, and though I didn't get the freshman fifteen, I did gain some in college.  But I think the worst time for me was when I worked as a preschooler teacher for special needs.  For some reason, at that time in my life I was consuming much more, and none of it was healthy.  No one said anything and yes, I knew I was getting bigger, but if no one else cared, why should I?  Wrong, I should've been the first to care and do something.

When I moved down south I had quit my teaching job of three or so years, I got rid of a man of whom was no good for me, and I left the badness behind.  I escaped.  So now that I could live, what was I going to do?

Living with my parents for a few months the first couple of months I was down here wasn't easy.  They are both overweight and have horrible eating habits.  But I was frantically searching for a job, a home, and ways to occupy my time.  With this came the weight loss.  I joined Weight Watchers.  I became obsessed with counting my points and eating healthy.  Due to the fact that I had next to nothing to do all day, I worked out.  I watched the weight come off.  I started to feel better.  When that happened, I got a job.

I've been working ever since.  I've noticed that its definitely harder to maintain balance while working when it comes to healthy eating and working out.  There are days when I just want to go home and pig out on pizza and not go to the gym.  But I try to stay motivated.  I eat healthy, but I also eat what I want.  If I know that I am going to indulge I try to do so in a healthier manner and I make up for it in exercise.

Before I moved down south I was around 200 pounds.  I was afraid to step on the scale after I saw 198, so I refused.  But I know, I know that at some point I was over.  I promised myself never to be back there.  For me it isn't so much about losing the weight as it is about loving the way I feel being healthier. 

I got down to 160 and under and I promised never to get to 160 again.  2014 was a hard year for me in this aspect.  I had gotten down to under 150 in 2013 and in 2014 I saw 160 creeping up on me again.  So something had to change.  I didn't like how I was feeling.  I woke up tired.  I woke up sad.  I woke up not wanting to do anything.

Back around Thanksgiving, I decided to join a gym again.  The tough decision was going to be which one and how much was I willing to spend.  All the gyms I had used in the past were a good distance away and I knew that the drive alone would deter me from going.  So I chose the one that I literally had to drive by on my way to work, it was a little more expensive, but I had no excuse not to go anymore.  It was 24 hours and it was small, so it worked perfectly for me. 

With the holidays and all in December and Jan, it was hard to stay focused so my weight loss hasn't been optimal, but I am happy to say that I am back down to being the smallest I've ever been in my adult life.  I feel awesome.  There are days when I cant wait to get up and work out.  There are days when my body aches.  There are days when I want pizza instead of vegetables.  But I feel good.  And I look at the scale and I am immensely happy. 

I've also started using my Fitbit on the daily.  It tracts everything for me.  In fact, I've the whole family on it now and we challenge each other to no end.  Weekend challenges, workday challenges, stairs and such.  I've everyone being active. 

If I had to chose a number, I would say that I would love to lose 20 more pounds.  I would love for 150 to be my new 200 (in terms of never seeing that number again and always staying under it) then 140, and then 130.  But I know that I will probably always be a little thicker and I don't want to look disproportionate.  My main goal is to just be healthy.  Get to a weight where I can maintain some sense of healthiness and balance in my life. 

Rants and Raves and Uselessness

Let me tell you something, I hate being yelled at first thing in the morning.  I don't like being yelled at, but first thing in the am just gets my gut in a twist, lets the wind out of my sails and frankly just ruins the whole day.  BUT, I can cope.  UNLESS, the yelling and arguments stop for the whole day, and then right before bed, the yelling starts up again.  Like bish please...  don't ruin my week.

My papa is away with my mother on a spur of the moment seven day cruise.  Legit they planned it last week because it was a "deal of a lifetime" and then left.  I cannot wait for them to come back.  If my papa is not in my day on a daily, I am lost.  I have no one to talk to.  And when the week goes by as shitty as this one has, I need him to talk to.  I need to pick his brain.  I need him to make sense of the things I cannot make sense of.  But he's having fun, and I wish him that, but seriously, he could've picked a better time.

TGIT is back tonight and that is the best part.  Actually that is the ONLY GOOD part. I cant wait to curl on the couch with my babe and be sucked into the Fitz-Liv drama.  Really I cant. I've waited for it for over a month and now that its here, time cannot go by quickly enough.

 I was going to get some pizza and splurge for the festivities, but I am really trying to be good with my weight, so I don't know yet... but probably.  If I can put in a good hour at the gym then definitely.  I've lost 10 pounds since December.  Which isn't a huge deal, but I don't have that much to lose, so to me its glorious.  Although it's hard for me to get excited about it when I have someone constantly whispering "don't get excited, you've still more to lose".  I cant even...

Then there's work.  My work life lately has completely sucked me dry.  I don't know if I'm unhappy and its effecting my relationships, or if that I'm just so super stressed, or if its the people around me who are having issues.  I cant tell, but it's probably me. 

Wish I could just breathe and make things easier.  Wish I wasn't such a novice, that would help too. 

Reading Menu- Linsey Lanier Dos

Still on the Lanier kick.  Have read all the Miranda Rights series and am now on the Miranda and Parker series.  I do however think that there is only three books in this series rather than the five that I started with.  At least only three that have been written. 

About the Miranda Rights series.  I'm going to mix them all together.  For me it was good.  I never knew until the end, or when the author wanted us to know, who the killer was and why.  Which for me the suspense is always best. 
Two, I like the background storyline.  The story behind the murder and mystery.  The searching and finding of Miranda's daughter.  Which she didn't figure out until the last book and let me tell you, I never would've guessed that one.  The relationship between her and the teenagers in the story is great.  The attachment but still the inability to get too attached for fear.  Also, the relationship between her and Parker is delicious.  Not in a steamy kind of way, but in a kind and considerate kind of way.  He is the kind of man I think every woman wants to have a relationship with. 

So overall, for me this series is a good one.  I'd give it four stars.

The Miranda and Parker series I've only just started but it seems to deal with the same scenarios just in a different setting.  Instead of being in Parkers home town being PI's, they are helping law enforcement around the country with cases that are either tough, or no one wants to deal with them. 

After this series though, I'm going to need something different.  Something intellectual.  Maybe something real.  Any ideas for me?

Should be a rule..

That if I text a question in a group message they ALL fucking answer.  I didn't text one or two of you privately because I needed you all to know the information and get your input.  If only one person responds that is no help to me. 

I.e.  Me: I have a meeting set up this week that I keep rescheduling due to our monthly meeting about insurances.  I would like to have the office insurance set up before Feb but I need input on percentage.  We talked about 50-60% of company input, the rest is employee responsibility.  What do you guys want to go with?

G: 50 is a happy medium.  There are other companies that give 85 for just the employee.

B1: no response

B2: no response

Me:

They are no help.  I cant go with just ONE persons opinion.  I need all three to make the decision. 
If this was the first time that this had happened I would be like "ah well..." but no.  This is the kind of shit they pull on me ALL THE TIME.  And its not like they were not just texting me 2 seconds prior.  They have read the messages, they just chose to be a pain in my ass. 

Besides that I worked my ass off all last week to prepare for our monthly meeting and they've rescheduled it 3 times already.

So totally a rant session about nothing important, but fuck me Mondays.  Fuck me.

518 to 804- Weather Edition #2

Schools have been closed for two days now because of what they call "inclement" weather.  Mind you, the clouds did give us a little light precipitation that amounted to a dusting of snow last evening.  But it's 45 degrees out now.  So I don't know what these people are thinking down here. 

This is the backside of my office.  There it is.  The "snow" that closed schools for two days. 

 

Where the hell were these rules when I was a kid?!  I remember my bus stopping at the top of the hill we lived on because the driver refused to go down until the road was plowed.  I remember school closing and the bus drivers refused to go out so our parents had to come and get us because there was 3 feet of snow on the ground.  I remember bundling up in the freezing cold and waiting for the bus stop with snow covering us just in the short wait. 

 

None of this school closing crap.  That shit didn't happen.  Unless you were Icabod Crane.  They always closed. 

Reading Menu-Linsey Lanier

Linsey Lanier writes the Miranda and Parker series.  I was introduced because the first one was free on Amazon, who would pass that up?  I'm glad I didn't because now I'm hooked, and there's a whole gaggle of books I can read!  Yes!

The first book is Someone Else's Daughter.  Second, is Delicious Torment.  I'm currently reading the third one, Forever Mine, but lets talk about the second.

Miranda Right is struggling to find herself.  She was in an abusive relationship with her husband.  She left him after he gave up her daughter for adoption without her knowledge.  Ever since she has been on the run.  Not from anything illegal, but from life, trying to search for the daughter she lost 13 years ago.  She goes wherever hints take her in hopes that she can find the love that she lost.  She gets a hint about someone in Atlanta and from there the story enfolds.

She starts with this PI company because this drop dead gorgeous man (Parker) takes her in under his wing.  He sees something in her that she doesn't see.  He believes in her.  Over a short period of time, he falls in love with her and tries his best to convince her that things can be right with them.  But she has her doubts.

In the second book, she's caught up in a drug overdose-suspected murder scenario.  She finds herself head of the case with Parker's help.  She has rules that she needs to follow and she doesn't.  She has lines that she always crosses.  She walks away from Parker more times than she should, but he loves her so much he always takes her back.  In the end, the person that hires her to find her sisters killer is the one that drugged her and killed her, but there were ups and downs that no one saw coming. 

The relationship between Parker and Miranda is one that any woman wishes she could have.  He's demanding in some ways, gentle and sincere in others.  He would go to the moon and back for her and she doesn't even realize it yet.  The dynamics between the two are spot on.  Its like they are one person they know each other so well, even in such short amount of time. Though there is romance in the novel, the story doesn't revolve around it.  When it does it's the "make you feel good" kind of romance, not the "hot and bothered" kind. 

Lanier does a good job of keeping the killer to herself until the right time.  I really had no idea until the moment she let the cat out of the bag.  It was a fun, easy read that I would suggest to anyone.

Rocky Mountain High, Colorado

Just a view from the resort. 

Another view from the resort, this one portraying
a different mountain. 

Let me just start off with this...

Colorado was beautiful.  I mean hands down, if I had to go somewhere cold, Colorado is the place to do.  Not Denver though.  Denver is nothing but dirt and factories.  The Rockies is where ya gotta go.  It'll take a little drive.  We drove 2 hours to get to the resort, but it was worth it.  Being so close to so many ski resorts, it was easy for us to catch a shuttle bus or gondola ride and be at the top. 

Not even 20 minutes outside of Denver though and you are riding in the clouds to get where you are going.  It was awesome.  And once you're through you look behind you and all you can see is the white bubbly, pillowy looking mass. 

Then you just keep on driving in amazement.  There were plenty of resorts and mountains closer to Denver to go to, but this one in its quaint little town was perfect.  I wouldn't have done it any differently. 

The resort we stayed at was eight thousand something feet elevation.  When we went to the ski resorts though we were well over fourteen thousand elevation.  Breathing wasn't as difficult as some said it was going to be.  I mean, I went running and I was labored really quickly, but it wasn't something that I couldn't handle, just something that I had to get used to.  When I wasn't active, I was just fine.

It did end up snowing some as you can see in the pics, but they know how to handle it over there.  If we had gotten that much snow here in RVA, schools would've been closed for a month.  Temp was brisk but nothing I would've imagined being in Colorado or at such high elevation.  30's and 40s during the day. 



The quaintness of the town.  I cant even.  

You can hardly see it, but this is when we took off.  The mountains
are in the background peeking through. 

Everything was brick or log.  It was beautiful.  All the snow dusting on the trees made it look like a little Kincaid village. 

Everything was a little expensive, but nothing that I wouldn't expect for the tourist time of year.  We had great food, great company, great time.  If anyone ever wanted to go, I would recommend these places...

Falcon Point Resort 
- where we stayed.  Hot tub while it snowed, free breakfast, free wi-fi, walking distance to anything you need
Route 6 Café and Lounge
-last night of our stay we went here for a beer.  Great live band and awesome dancing from the locals.  Cheap food and beer that's quality
Bob's Place
-if you want to catch a game, go here.  There's probably 40 screens all around the bar.  Sitting is family style, so you'll meet some new people
Pazzo's Pizzeria
-awesome pizza.  The best pizza I've had in a while and I like me some pizza.  We ordered take out for the room and they delivered. 

Reading Menu-Maybe Someday

I came across Colleen Hoover maybe about a year ago when I picked up Hopeless.  I liked it, but I didn't love it.  So when Maybe Someday came across for one of the BOTM, I was hesitant, but thought "hey, why not?!" 
Let me tell you this.  I loved it.  It was executed so well that I didn't have time or any thoughts about how things would've been if they were done differently.   It's a love story like so many other love stories I've read a million times, but yet, it's so different. 
Hoover has the ability of omission and that kept me entertained and wanting to read more.  I didn't know at first that Ridge was deaf.  I didn't know that there was anything wrong with Maggie.  She hints to it, but the ideas that something could be so fatally wrong with someone so special just doesn't reach until it's literally printed out for me. 
The characters portray a different kind of relationship.  They are all young adults, but yet so mature in their thoughts and feelings that it's hard to believe they haven't lived a hundred years.  Ridge loves and sees things in a way that I want to be loved and seen.  And Sydney does the same but in different ways.  She's been hurt, so she doesn't want to hurt someone else, would do anything to not do what has been done to her. 
The lyrics and song writing is point on.  There wasn't a single set of lyrics in the book that I wasn't curious about listening to.  So I immediately hopped on iTunes and listened to the snippets of each song.  They are awesome. 

But back to the book.  It's a romance.  It's YA in a way.  I loved it.  It is a book I would recommend to anyone.  Simply for it's sparkling, good feelings all over vibe I got from reading it. 

A little trip

I am leaving for Colorado in less than 48 hours. 

I haven't packed.  I don't even own a winter coat anymore.  At least not one that I can go skiing in.  But really who am I kidding, at least not one I can go tubing in.  (Hell if I go skiing, I don't know how to stop, and for those of you who are saying "pizza it", that shit don't work.  The only way to stop is to fall or crash.)  I don't have snow boots.  I have zip.  Nothing I can confidently wear and say that I wont freeze my ass off in Colorado.  One of the physicians I work with told me I could borrow some of her stuff, but please, she can shop at Babies'R'Us for heavens sake and although I have lost weight, I am still mucho grande compared to her. 

My house is a mess.  I literally, and this doesn't happen very often, have crap everywhere in my bedroom, because I "may" need it to come with me on the trip and I don't want to forget to pack it.  I need a maid to come and clean while I am gone.  Maybe I'll ask my mother...

The reason my house is such a mess is because I feel like crap.  I have so much crap in my head that I feel like it could explode.  I went to the gym last night and ran for about a minute before my teeth started to hurt.  I could feel my teeth.  So I stopped.  Went home.  Did nothing.  I know that I need to do something before I leave because the flight and the elevation of the area I am going to be in is going to kill me if I don't... but.... I don't feel like it. 

I'm also supposed to hydrate 24-48 hours prior to our leaving.  I haven't done that either.  I don't want to drink.  I want a chocolate chip cookie. 

I am a little excited to go though.  I wish at the moment that I felt better, but I am still excited.  Not about the cold, but about the views, the idea of being away, seeing family and being able to read nonstop for the whole weekend.  The cold can go. I've never been to Colorado before so I am excited to see it in full force, but still I wish it wasn't so cold.

Should be a rule..

... that TV shows should not be able to go on break.  Ever.  I mean come on.  They get paid a shit ton of money to act and entertain us and then they get the winter off to what... ?  They aren't entertaining me anymore.  I am watching the calendar. 

... that TV shows shouldn't be cancelled.  Especially if I like them.  There are all these good shows like The Newsroom, Parenthood, etc that are (or have) ended this year and yet, Survivor or The (freaking) Simpsons is still on.  I just don't get it. 

... that people of the audience get to choose who they want to play in certain roles when it comes to movies/shows based from novels.  I mean give me 3 choices and I will choose.  The one that has the most votes wins.  Some of these characters they pick for movies based on novels (Bella Swan-Kristen Stewart) are just gross.  I mean come on.

Entertainment rant over...

For now.

Reading Menu- The Job

I love all things Janet Evanovich.  I don't remember how old I was when I was introduced to her, but ever since, she's been one of my "go to's" when it comes to a novel.  The Job was no different.  It's part of the Fox and O'Hare series.

He's a steamy hot con man, thief, and one of the world most wanted men according to the FBI.  She's an FBI agent.  They work together to take other con men, cartels, thieves and drug lords down. The situation between the two is not an ideal one for Kate, working with the man she's been hunting for her whole career, but working with him is better than working against him.  Together they come up with ideas to take down some of the worlds lowliest creatures. 

The Job specifically deals with a drug lord who disappeared many years ago and hasn't been seen.  Word on the street is that he got a complete make-over and is in the wind.  Fox thinks he knows where this man is.  After an impostor pretending to be Fox gets caught in a heist, O'Hare learns about the whereabouts of the missing drug lord and its decided that she and Fox will embark on the new mission to take him down. 

There's bribes of a sunken treasure that the drug lord wants badly and Fox comes up with a way to make the lord believe that they have found it.  For a sum, the lord can have the knowledge as well.  With Fox and O'Hare teamed up with a few of their friends and O'Hares ex-military father, the task becomes easy and the lord is caught red handed. 

The relationship between Fox and O'Hare heats up slightly in this novel, but not so much so that it burns.  O'Hare doesn't want a relationship with a man who is on the FBI's most wanted list. 

The novel is a light, fun read with romance, mystery and humor.

New Years 2015

Well my New Years went off without a bang.  Nothing significant.  Just friends and family.

I read my horoscope for the year and I think they got that shit wrong... its sounds JUST like what I did for 2014.  All that cant happen again, can it?  Talking about in order to succeed you have to do the work, in the fall things will pay out and you'll get a raise and a jump in the career, you'll go places with the hunny (this didn't happen), working out will bring benefits (I'm still doing this), and influential men will have my back in the last quarter of 2015 (please let this happen!).
Having said that, I am excited to see what 2015 brings.  I am anxious about my work, pretty much because Medicare and Humana suck the life out of my on a daily.  I am content with my family situation.  I am a little down about the SO aspect of my life, but I can live without that too.  I mean in the past few months I've gone out with a man who wanted a second option of him and his wife and to "feel the butterflies" when it came to dating again and then I've "talked" with an ex felon who just got out of jail for dealing.  So no, I'm in no rush to find anything.  My SO is Maddie at the moment.  Maddie and my work.  I want to start serious things with my house.  We bought a boat so there's always that.

But there is a list of things that I would like to accomplish in 2015.  (as follows in no particular order)

1. Finish my home office, make my own shelves, make the desk, add all my fancy quotes to the wall.
2.  Extend my deck to accommodate the hot tub I hope to be purchasing.
3. Paying off at least 15k in my school loan. (this is twice the amount I would "have" to pay)
4. Closet.  I have too much shit and not enough space.  Or let me rephrase, my closet at the moment isn't suited to hold all my shit because I am not utilizing the space appropriately.
5.  Maybe a car... this will most likely be a 2016 goal, but hey...
6. Losing the remaining 25 pounds I would love to lose. 
7. Add some furniture to my spare room.
8.  Get a fence for the yard. 
9.  Make a home gym in the garage.  Also get a fridge for the garage for the days where the shit just wont fit in my house one.
10.  Be nice to myself.  This shouldn't be last, but I really am my own worst enemy.  I need to quit this shit.  Why do I think anyone else should be nice to me if I am not.

10 things, not too shabby, but unfortunately it ALL cost money.  Serious money.  Although I did get a raise in September and another one today, this all should be easier to accomplish, but its not.  My mortgage is expensive.

I never thought that I would be where I was in 2015.  Shit, I thought 2004 was too rough and that I wouldn't make it out alive then.  Every year I surprise myself.  Every year I know that I make my father even more proud of me, and to be honest, if that was all I did in life, that would suffice for me.  I've a killer career, my own home that I worked my ass off for (now if I could learn how to use a power saw I would be set), my car is paid off, I am set.  Now all I need to do if it was up to my father is find a man and have some babies.  That shit I can live without.  But if it happens, it happens.  I'm in no rush.

What are your 2015 goals?