Three Days In Bed

The clock never stops
And I hate this damn phone
Some days I wanna run
From the place I call home
Guess I'm just needing some danger
Give me three days in bed
With a stranger

*JN* 

Just when I'm about to scream.  

Just when I'm about to pack my bags and go somewhere no one knows my name.

Something turns around and thoughts change.

I ended a relationship this morning.  I've been meaning to do it for a while.  It wasn't a long relationship, and I think for more than half of it I wanted out.  But there was this thing that kept me from not doing it.  He sanity.  I didn't think he could handle it.  So I made him do it.  And it was easier that way.  I don't regret it, but I'm glad the baggage is gone.  

Then I'm sitting down at a local restaurant waiting for my lunch to be done and this very handsome man comes over and asks to join me.  Of course, I say.  We chat for a bit and he asks if it's all right to ask me out for coffee. 

Sure thing, but please don't be needy, insecure, or always looking for reinforcement.  I'm not looking to settle down.  I just want a Mr. Right Now and three days in bed with a stranger.  

is that too much to ask for?

Unsure, indecisive, and uncharacteristically confused.

Unsure about so many things lately.  The anxiety I feel about it is intense some times and most definitely overwhelming.  I am not used to having anxiety.  Being unsure about things, yes, but this unsure, this many things, it's a lot.

I was trusting once.  I spoke too much and it was turned around and thrown back in my face.  The thing is, the person I trusted doesn't know that I know he broke my trust.  He thinks that I don't know he told someone else.  In fact he has come to me and told me that under no circumstances has he ever said anything to anyone.  Whatever was said stays between me, him and someone above.  BUT, he also threw in the "anyone who tells you different should not be trusted". 
He's come to me recently asking for peace, to be friends, to have what we had before.  To be honest, I kind of want that.  I want things to be easy. I dont want to have all this hatred anymore.  BUT I'm weary.
He says "I see that you smile, but there's no happiness in your eyes.  Some day I wish you'd just vomit everything out and confide in me."  Here's my thing: does he really want that, or does he want something to hold over my head again?  Am I stupid for even considering it?  Or should I just slam the door in his face and be like "you had your chance". 
"I don't mean anyone any harm, ill will, or mean to hurt anyone whether it be physically, emotionally or anything." 

Doesn't he know like he fucking broke me?