For how long after Labor day is it not acceptable to wear white? If you think about it, the Sunday before Labor Day is still technically after the Labor Day the previous year. Right? So when can I wear white again?
Not that I ever really wear white anyway.... I'm more of a black and blue kind of girl.
Showing posts with label About Me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label About Me. Show all posts
Thursday, September 8, 2016
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Racing thoughts and not so simple ramblings
My mind has been racing. One hundred miles a minute. I have yet to make sense of everything. But that's okay because like everything else that is important to me... I can do this.
My family lost the patriarch of the family this weekend. I was away at a conference in Baltimore when I heard the news. My heart was heavy. Heavy for my mother, who adored this man. Heavy for my family that I hadn't seen since even before I moved down here. Just heavy. Even though there was a sense of emptiness, there was so much more as well.
I didn't for one second hesitate in going up. I was almost halfway there for heavens sake. So I just continued onward up north and kept going until I reached my hometown. Where I spent 25 years of my life. Where memories are sweet and bittersweet and just plain bitter.
Even though I went up for sad reasons, I was overwhelmed by the overall feeling of being blessed. Blessed because I was once again I was with family. People who loved me. People to reminisce and tells stories about the old days. About the brothers who came overseas with their parents to start a new life in the US. About my grandfather and his family. About my mother and hers. So even though it was not for happy reasons that I had to take a short trip to my hometown, it was a blessing to be there once again.
If there was ever a whirlwind effect in my life, this is the time. Between Baltimore, and everything I learned, not only about my profession, but about myself and others, and then going back to NY, my mind is stuck in a whirlwind of thoughts. Unable to process things. Unsure of whether I really want to, or if I just want to stay right here in this moment and be content with how things are.
Things can get so messy, so quickly. I don't want to ruin anything. I know that being me, I am quick to make things messy. Quick to dismiss. Quick to find that one thing, that one thing that will naw and chew and eat at me until I become undone. I don't want to become undone. I just want to enjoy.
So though I want to tell the story about everything that happened in Baltimore, in NY, in VA, I am not ready to put into words. Not ready to pick apart my thoughts and make them less somehow.
I just want to wait, and be content and enjoy.
But soon. Soon I will write everything out on paper. Put words to the story. Make it more real.
My family lost the patriarch of the family this weekend. I was away at a conference in Baltimore when I heard the news. My heart was heavy. Heavy for my mother, who adored this man. Heavy for my family that I hadn't seen since even before I moved down here. Just heavy. Even though there was a sense of emptiness, there was so much more as well.
I didn't for one second hesitate in going up. I was almost halfway there for heavens sake. So I just continued onward up north and kept going until I reached my hometown. Where I spent 25 years of my life. Where memories are sweet and bittersweet and just plain bitter.
Even though I went up for sad reasons, I was overwhelmed by the overall feeling of being blessed. Blessed because I was once again I was with family. People who loved me. People to reminisce and tells stories about the old days. About the brothers who came overseas with their parents to start a new life in the US. About my grandfather and his family. About my mother and hers. So even though it was not for happy reasons that I had to take a short trip to my hometown, it was a blessing to be there once again.
If there was ever a whirlwind effect in my life, this is the time. Between Baltimore, and everything I learned, not only about my profession, but about myself and others, and then going back to NY, my mind is stuck in a whirlwind of thoughts. Unable to process things. Unsure of whether I really want to, or if I just want to stay right here in this moment and be content with how things are.
Things can get so messy, so quickly. I don't want to ruin anything. I know that being me, I am quick to make things messy. Quick to dismiss. Quick to find that one thing, that one thing that will naw and chew and eat at me until I become undone. I don't want to become undone. I just want to enjoy.
So though I want to tell the story about everything that happened in Baltimore, in NY, in VA, I am not ready to put into words. Not ready to pick apart my thoughts and make them less somehow.
I just want to wait, and be content and enjoy.
But soon. Soon I will write everything out on paper. Put words to the story. Make it more real.
Thursday, January 1, 2015
New Years 2015
Well my New Years went off without a bang. Nothing significant. Just friends and family.
I read my horoscope for the year and I think they got that shit wrong... its sounds JUST like what I did for 2014. All that cant happen again, can it? Talking about in order to succeed you have to do the work, in the fall things will pay out and you'll get a raise and a jump in the career, you'll go places with the hunny (this didn't happen), working out will bring benefits (I'm still doing this), and influential men will have my back in the last quarter of 2015 (please let this happen!).
Having said that, I am excited to see what 2015 brings. I am anxious about my work, pretty much because Medicare and Humana suck the life out of my on a daily. I am content with my family situation. I am a little down about the SO aspect of my life, but I can live without that too. I mean in the past few months I've gone out with a man who wanted a second option of him and his wife and to "feel the butterflies" when it came to dating again and then I've "talked" with an ex felon who just got out of jail for dealing. So no, I'm in no rush to find anything. My SO is Maddie at the moment. Maddie and my work. I want to start serious things with my house. We bought a boat so there's always that.
But there is a list of things that I would like to accomplish in 2015. (as follows in no particular order)
1. Finish my home office, make my own shelves, make the desk, add all my fancy quotes to the wall.
2. Extend my deck to accommodate the hot tub I hope to be purchasing.
3. Paying off at least 15k in my school loan. (this is twice the amount I would "have" to pay)
4. Closet. I have too much shit and not enough space. Or let me rephrase, my closet at the moment isn't suited to hold all my shit because I am not utilizing the space appropriately.
5. Maybe a car... this will most likely be a 2016 goal, but hey...
6. Losing the remaining 25 pounds I would love to lose.
7. Add some furniture to my spare room.
8. Get a fence for the yard.
9. Make a home gym in the garage. Also get a fridge for the garage for the days where the shit just wont fit in my house one.
10. Be nice to myself. This shouldn't be last, but I really am my own worst enemy. I need to quit this shit. Why do I think anyone else should be nice to me if I am not.
10 things, not too shabby, but unfortunately it ALL cost money. Serious money. Although I did get a raise in September and another one today, this all should be easier to accomplish, but its not. My mortgage is expensive.
I never thought that I would be where I was in 2015. Shit, I thought 2004 was too rough and that I wouldn't make it out alive then. Every year I surprise myself. Every year I know that I make my father even more proud of me, and to be honest, if that was all I did in life, that would suffice for me. I've a killer career, my own home that I worked my ass off for (now if I could learn how to use a power saw I would be set), my car is paid off, I am set. Now all I need to do if it was up to my father is find a man and have some babies. That shit I can live without. But if it happens, it happens. I'm in no rush.
What are your 2015 goals?
I read my horoscope for the year and I think they got that shit wrong... its sounds JUST like what I did for 2014. All that cant happen again, can it? Talking about in order to succeed you have to do the work, in the fall things will pay out and you'll get a raise and a jump in the career, you'll go places with the hunny (this didn't happen), working out will bring benefits (I'm still doing this), and influential men will have my back in the last quarter of 2015 (please let this happen!).
Having said that, I am excited to see what 2015 brings. I am anxious about my work, pretty much because Medicare and Humana suck the life out of my on a daily. I am content with my family situation. I am a little down about the SO aspect of my life, but I can live without that too. I mean in the past few months I've gone out with a man who wanted a second option of him and his wife and to "feel the butterflies" when it came to dating again and then I've "talked" with an ex felon who just got out of jail for dealing. So no, I'm in no rush to find anything. My SO is Maddie at the moment. Maddie and my work. I want to start serious things with my house. We bought a boat so there's always that.
But there is a list of things that I would like to accomplish in 2015. (as follows in no particular order)
1. Finish my home office, make my own shelves, make the desk, add all my fancy quotes to the wall.
2. Extend my deck to accommodate the hot tub I hope to be purchasing.
3. Paying off at least 15k in my school loan. (this is twice the amount I would "have" to pay)
4. Closet. I have too much shit and not enough space. Or let me rephrase, my closet at the moment isn't suited to hold all my shit because I am not utilizing the space appropriately.
5. Maybe a car... this will most likely be a 2016 goal, but hey...
6. Losing the remaining 25 pounds I would love to lose.
7. Add some furniture to my spare room.
8. Get a fence for the yard.
9. Make a home gym in the garage. Also get a fridge for the garage for the days where the shit just wont fit in my house one.
10. Be nice to myself. This shouldn't be last, but I really am my own worst enemy. I need to quit this shit. Why do I think anyone else should be nice to me if I am not.
10 things, not too shabby, but unfortunately it ALL cost money. Serious money. Although I did get a raise in September and another one today, this all should be easier to accomplish, but its not. My mortgage is expensive.
I never thought that I would be where I was in 2015. Shit, I thought 2004 was too rough and that I wouldn't make it out alive then. Every year I surprise myself. Every year I know that I make my father even more proud of me, and to be honest, if that was all I did in life, that would suffice for me. I've a killer career, my own home that I worked my ass off for (now if I could learn how to use a power saw I would be set), my car is paid off, I am set. Now all I need to do if it was up to my father is find a man and have some babies. That shit I can live without. But if it happens, it happens. I'm in no rush.
What are your 2015 goals?
Monday, December 22, 2014
Weekend before Christmas
First it was my birthday, then there was supposed to be an awesome night out with my brudder and Jess, then there was the office holiday dinner, and then there was Sunday and such...
Not all of this happened. But it was a good weekend before Christmas anyway. So let me start with this.
^^ this turned into that >> real quick. Worst part though is that I am STILL NOT DONE!
Then there was Saturday. I ran around like chicken with my head chopped off trying to get things ready for our office holiday dinner. Everyone and their families were there (minus one physician, but I was okay with that). I think overall it went well. I know that I had a good time and really that is all that matters. I ended up getting some food for free (catering at Olive Garden) because it took so long for me to get the food. Free food tastes soooo much better, right? I didn't get any pics of the evening and I so regret that. It was the first one we decided to do as an office and I completely forgot. Next year though...
And then yesterday was Sunday, my "stay at home and relax day". That didn't happen because it is the weekend before the holidays and I need to be present at my rents house to help them. Let me tell you though, I cannot wait for it to be Wed at 1:00pm. I have the rest of the day off, then Thursday off and maybe even Friday if I decide to take it.
Cannot wait.
Not all of this happened. But it was a good weekend before Christmas anyway. So let me start with this.
This is from the birthday dinner. This is where my brother continuously had to shout out that I was 30 years old. (I am not 30 yet) This is where everyone at my table decided to sing happy birthday to me even though its not something that was done at this restaurant. This is where my father left my number on the bill for the waiter who flirted shamelessly the whole time. It was a nice evening out with my family.
Then Friday came along and I was supposed to go to a tacky light tour through Richmond limo and drinking style, but everything fell through and we decided not to go this year. I wasn't disappointed however, this meant that I FINALLY could get my wrapping done. Add some wrapping paper, gifts, wine, music and one hell of a mess and I was done.
Then there was Saturday. I ran around like chicken with my head chopped off trying to get things ready for our office holiday dinner. Everyone and their families were there (minus one physician, but I was okay with that). I think overall it went well. I know that I had a good time and really that is all that matters. I ended up getting some food for free (catering at Olive Garden) because it took so long for me to get the food. Free food tastes soooo much better, right? I didn't get any pics of the evening and I so regret that. It was the first one we decided to do as an office and I completely forgot. Next year though...
And then yesterday was Sunday, my "stay at home and relax day". That didn't happen because it is the weekend before the holidays and I need to be present at my rents house to help them. Let me tell you though, I cannot wait for it to be Wed at 1:00pm. I have the rest of the day off, then Thursday off and maybe even Friday if I decide to take it.
Cannot wait.
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Because you wanted to know of course
You were dying to! 11 weird facts about myself. Lets see if I can come up with 11. (because we all know I am in no way shape or form weird or any kind of abnormal)
1. I have a fur child named Maddie, this is well known, but what you didn't know (probably) is that I looked for Maddie for years. I mean years. I talked to people from Craigslist who had cocker spaniels for sale or free, I went to pet adoptions, I went to stores but none of the ones that I saw were my Maddie. I had a name for her and I knew exactly what I was looking for. Then one day I talked to my papa about it seriously and we talked about going to this place that had breeders and rescued puppies. Didn't really want a puppy and he said "its easier to say you're sorry than to ask for permission". But let me tell you, when I walked in a saw that golden face with those green eyes and the pink nose I was like "huh, potential." I walked over to her and she got on her hind legs and scratched at my thighs for me to pick her up. It was literally love at first sight for the both of us. I cannot have another animal at the moment because she is the one. But if I ever did... A black girl (some kind of spaniel, doesn't need to be cocker) named Juliet or a multicolored boy named Scampers.
2. I went to college for English (waste) and ended up with a degree in English studies, a degree in Pyschology (another waste) and then after all that I got my masters in Business Administration with a certificate in healthcare management. This one is what I am currently working with, but I had the job before I finished my degree. So the 45k that I owe in student loans to get a degree I didn't really need, just pisses me off.
3. I was born 10 days late. The week before Christmas (which is tomorrow). And ONLY because my mothers doctor was going away for the next week and she didn't want someone else to deliver me so she was induced the day before he left for Christmas vacation. Otherwise who knows when I would've come out. I may have been a Christmas babe.
4. I haven't been to many of the US states, I really haven't been anywhere much compared to how big the world is. But I have been to 20 of the US states and to some Caribbean hotspots(Jamaica, Belize, Mexico, Honduras, Cozumel, Dom. Republic...) BUT I have been to Bermuda 4 times in a span of less than 6 months. This was due to me finding a hot guy who lived there on a visa (he was born and lives normally in Scotland. Yes the accent got me). He flew me to and from every time. I need to find someone else like that...
5. My closet generally only has blue and black clothes in it. I went to go pack for a recent trip and I realized all I had out were blue and white stripped shirts and jeans. -_____-
6. When I was a kid and living in NY, I set my backyard on fire. Not on purpose. The whole back 40 was engulfed in flames. The chickens were frantic in their coop until papa cut them out and they flew off (they all came back around when it was dinner time though, even the ones we could've lived without. Mean red eyed bastard). All the trees were singed. My mother called the fire department and the person who took the call asked to speak to "an adult" so they didn't get there any time soon. But eventually everything was taken care of.
7. My family didn't find out that I had hearing difficulties until I was in elementary school. Then my mother apologized for years for all the yelling she did because I couldn't hear her and she thought I just wasn't listening.
8. I get nervous when I have to call people. This pretty much stems from the fact that no one can ever hear me on the phone. And if they can hear me, they don't understand what it is that I am saying. Its not that I mumble or anything. Its just that I talk so softly (yes even though I'm deaf, it's weird I know). And down in VA I have an accent so some people don't understand that either.
9. Since moving from NY I have lost all the weight that I gained after high school. I didn't gain it the "freshman fifteen" way though because I hated college and going out and all that jazz. I did it while working with the fucking kids at the school I used to work for. I don't know how the kids these days are obese because let me tell you, the food that they ate, fuck... 50 pounds. When I moved down here I worked really hard to get it all off. Now I am at my high school weight again and if Im lucky I even get below the high school weight. I would love to be around a buck twenty, but shiiiiiit. That's gonna take me a little while and even more hard work. But I'm working on it.
10. My boss and I fight like cats and dogs, husband and wives, brother and sister, you get the drift. There are days when we get along great, there are days when we don't. He is one of those people who always think that they are right. NO MATTER WHAT. I could put out evidence in front of him and he would tell me its incorrect. I could say something like "why are we changing things when we've always done it this way" and he'll say "what have we always done why don't you understand". He gets under my skin like no one else, but he also puts up with my shit on a daily so I cant complain too much.
11. I am the first person in my family to graduate from a four year college and I am the second youngest. Granted, some have done two years, but I hold the record for a four year degree first. Then comes my brother.
Facts, weird or not. But facts. What are yours?
1. I have a fur child named Maddie, this is well known, but what you didn't know (probably) is that I looked for Maddie for years. I mean years. I talked to people from Craigslist who had cocker spaniels for sale or free, I went to pet adoptions, I went to stores but none of the ones that I saw were my Maddie. I had a name for her and I knew exactly what I was looking for. Then one day I talked to my papa about it seriously and we talked about going to this place that had breeders and rescued puppies. Didn't really want a puppy and he said "its easier to say you're sorry than to ask for permission". But let me tell you, when I walked in a saw that golden face with those green eyes and the pink nose I was like "huh, potential." I walked over to her and she got on her hind legs and scratched at my thighs for me to pick her up. It was literally love at first sight for the both of us. I cannot have another animal at the moment because she is the one. But if I ever did... A black girl (some kind of spaniel, doesn't need to be cocker) named Juliet or a multicolored boy named Scampers.
2. I went to college for English (waste) and ended up with a degree in English studies, a degree in Pyschology (another waste) and then after all that I got my masters in Business Administration with a certificate in healthcare management. This one is what I am currently working with, but I had the job before I finished my degree. So the 45k that I owe in student loans to get a degree I didn't really need, just pisses me off.
3. I was born 10 days late. The week before Christmas (which is tomorrow). And ONLY because my mothers doctor was going away for the next week and she didn't want someone else to deliver me so she was induced the day before he left for Christmas vacation. Otherwise who knows when I would've come out. I may have been a Christmas babe.
4. I haven't been to many of the US states, I really haven't been anywhere much compared to how big the world is. But I have been to 20 of the US states and to some Caribbean hotspots(Jamaica, Belize, Mexico, Honduras, Cozumel, Dom. Republic...) BUT I have been to Bermuda 4 times in a span of less than 6 months. This was due to me finding a hot guy who lived there on a visa (he was born and lives normally in Scotland. Yes the accent got me). He flew me to and from every time. I need to find someone else like that...
5. My closet generally only has blue and black clothes in it. I went to go pack for a recent trip and I realized all I had out were blue and white stripped shirts and jeans. -_____-
6. When I was a kid and living in NY, I set my backyard on fire. Not on purpose. The whole back 40 was engulfed in flames. The chickens were frantic in their coop until papa cut them out and they flew off (they all came back around when it was dinner time though, even the ones we could've lived without. Mean red eyed bastard). All the trees were singed. My mother called the fire department and the person who took the call asked to speak to "an adult" so they didn't get there any time soon. But eventually everything was taken care of.
7. My family didn't find out that I had hearing difficulties until I was in elementary school. Then my mother apologized for years for all the yelling she did because I couldn't hear her and she thought I just wasn't listening.
8. I get nervous when I have to call people. This pretty much stems from the fact that no one can ever hear me on the phone. And if they can hear me, they don't understand what it is that I am saying. Its not that I mumble or anything. Its just that I talk so softly (yes even though I'm deaf, it's weird I know). And down in VA I have an accent so some people don't understand that either.
9. Since moving from NY I have lost all the weight that I gained after high school. I didn't gain it the "freshman fifteen" way though because I hated college and going out and all that jazz. I did it while working with the fucking kids at the school I used to work for. I don't know how the kids these days are obese because let me tell you, the food that they ate, fuck... 50 pounds. When I moved down here I worked really hard to get it all off. Now I am at my high school weight again and if Im lucky I even get below the high school weight. I would love to be around a buck twenty, but shiiiiiit. That's gonna take me a little while and even more hard work. But I'm working on it.
10. My boss and I fight like cats and dogs, husband and wives, brother and sister, you get the drift. There are days when we get along great, there are days when we don't. He is one of those people who always think that they are right. NO MATTER WHAT. I could put out evidence in front of him and he would tell me its incorrect. I could say something like "why are we changing things when we've always done it this way" and he'll say "what have we always done why don't you understand". He gets under my skin like no one else, but he also puts up with my shit on a daily so I cant complain too much.
11. I am the first person in my family to graduate from a four year college and I am the second youngest. Granted, some have done two years, but I hold the record for a four year degree first. Then comes my brother.
Facts, weird or not. But facts. What are yours?
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Ruin
I had a conversation the other day with someone that I don't normally like to converse with because things can get out of control and I like things to maintain within my control. I need to keep things at a professional level at all times (well most times, and always within the presence of said person). But yesterday said person was being sweet and maybe he got laid, or maybe he got hit in the head with a "you better be nice she can fuck up your life" moment, but he was being sweet. It was a touching moment for me that made me think about myself in a way that I haven't. Not in a while.
"You're an attractive woman, very attractive. And you have the world in front of you. I can see you going places within the office and even above and beyond if you so choose to do so. Don't let anyone ruin you. Don't let anyone ruin you." And with that he walked away.
So the first part wasn't what got to me. It was the "don't let anyone ruin you" part that got to me. I had a dream last night that woke me and I couldn't fall back asleep and that sentence was what I thought about. Its like his words haunt me now.
I could take his words a hundred and one ways, but I would like to think that in his gentleness he meant them in a kind way as well. First though, I was thinking maybe he meant, do let anyone steal my sunshine. Then I thought (because he is very religious) that he meant, do let anyone steal my virginity. But that thought did last very long.
I've been thinking about dating lately. But I don't just want to date. I don't have time for that. I really just want to get to know someone and then date. Which is, I guess, the purpose of dating to begin with. But I like sitting in my house, watching tv, going to the gym, and whatnot far too much to have someone I only just met to ruin that. So his statement I am putting to heart and I am being choosy. I am putting me first, if someone I am dating and even just someone I know doesn't like that then fuck 'em. I'm too tired to be anything different at the moment.
Maybe this time next year I'll actually have someone to bring to the holiday dinner and family dinners and such. Maybe. Maybe not. But what I wont let anyone do, is ruin me.
"You're an attractive woman, very attractive. And you have the world in front of you. I can see you going places within the office and even above and beyond if you so choose to do so. Don't let anyone ruin you. Don't let anyone ruin you." And with that he walked away.
So the first part wasn't what got to me. It was the "don't let anyone ruin you" part that got to me. I had a dream last night that woke me and I couldn't fall back asleep and that sentence was what I thought about. Its like his words haunt me now.
I could take his words a hundred and one ways, but I would like to think that in his gentleness he meant them in a kind way as well. First though, I was thinking maybe he meant, do let anyone steal my sunshine. Then I thought (because he is very religious) that he meant, do let anyone steal my virginity. But that thought did last very long.
I've been thinking about dating lately. But I don't just want to date. I don't have time for that. I really just want to get to know someone and then date. Which is, I guess, the purpose of dating to begin with. But I like sitting in my house, watching tv, going to the gym, and whatnot far too much to have someone I only just met to ruin that. So his statement I am putting to heart and I am being choosy. I am putting me first, if someone I am dating and even just someone I know doesn't like that then fuck 'em. I'm too tired to be anything different at the moment.
Maybe this time next year I'll actually have someone to bring to the holiday dinner and family dinners and such. Maybe. Maybe not. But what I wont let anyone do, is ruin me.
Monday, December 1, 2014
Currently loving...
1.... I made it through Thanksgiving! And I didn't gain any weight. That very well may be due to the fact that I've been going to the gym religiously, not because I didn't eat like a pig.
2.... My cousin came down for a surprise visit from Long Island. Well actually, she was on her way home from North Carolina and decided to stop at the house for a breather. We wished that she could've at least stayed the evening, but she and her man were eager to get home. I don't blame them. Its a long drive. Not one that I am ever eager to take.
3....The gym. Running, stretching, weight lifting. I feel awesome!
4.... The little gem of an Christmas present I got for Willowbug. Can be found here. I cant wait for her to see it and us play in it. I'm a child, this I know.
5.... Planning on building things with my papa. He really is the love of my life. We are going to make my garage a work place for us to do the work I want done in the house. I want to make my office the way that I've always dreamed it to be. Sort of like the library in Beauty and the Beast, but in a realistic world. When that gets started, be sure pics will be followed. I am super pumped!
6.... Some little fur baby sleeping through the night. For almost a week straight! She went to my rents a few months ago and since then she has decided not to sleep ever. So we've done a routine of she gets to play, goes outside, gets a benny and we sleep. I figure if I can get her in a routine we are both happy with then the benny can go, but for now, I am determined to get her to sleep.
7.... Holidays and work parties and such. Enough said
8.... Maybe a Wizards game in February. Just saying.
9.... and a trip to Colorado in January.
10.... Work going by quickly today.
Not currently loving the fact that my birthday is coming up and I am going to be 29. Twenty freaking nine.
That means next year is 30. Where the hell did time go? I swear it was just a few years ago that I was in high school skipping classes (routinely).
But on the plus side, we are talking a trip at the end of the year next year to celebrate all the big birthdays. Jess is 25, Trav 28 (not significant), Heather is 30.... and I'm 30. Ugh, the thought.
2.... My cousin came down for a surprise visit from Long Island. Well actually, she was on her way home from North Carolina and decided to stop at the house for a breather. We wished that she could've at least stayed the evening, but she and her man were eager to get home. I don't blame them. Its a long drive. Not one that I am ever eager to take.
3....The gym. Running, stretching, weight lifting. I feel awesome!
4.... The little gem of an Christmas present I got for Willowbug. Can be found here. I cant wait for her to see it and us play in it. I'm a child, this I know.
5.... Planning on building things with my papa. He really is the love of my life. We are going to make my garage a work place for us to do the work I want done in the house. I want to make my office the way that I've always dreamed it to be. Sort of like the library in Beauty and the Beast, but in a realistic world. When that gets started, be sure pics will be followed. I am super pumped!
6.... Some little fur baby sleeping through the night. For almost a week straight! She went to my rents a few months ago and since then she has decided not to sleep ever. So we've done a routine of she gets to play, goes outside, gets a benny and we sleep. I figure if I can get her in a routine we are both happy with then the benny can go, but for now, I am determined to get her to sleep.
7.... Holidays and work parties and such. Enough said
8.... Maybe a Wizards game in February. Just saying.
9.... and a trip to Colorado in January.
10.... Work going by quickly today.
Not currently loving the fact that my birthday is coming up and I am going to be 29. Twenty freaking nine.
That means next year is 30. Where the hell did time go? I swear it was just a few years ago that I was in high school skipping classes (routinely).
But on the plus side, we are talking a trip at the end of the year next year to celebrate all the big birthdays. Jess is 25, Trav 28 (not significant), Heather is 30.... and I'm 30. Ugh, the thought.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Reading Menu--of sorts
I am reading When You Were Older by Catherine Ryan Hyde. Ever heard of her? She's got a few books under her belt. This is the first I've read of hers, but throughout the whole novel thus far, she's had me thinking and I want to read more.
One question that comes to mind is "where was I for 9-11?"
That's easy. I was home. I was "sick". I hated high school. For me being "sick" was a common theme. Hell, I'm surprised I graduated, not because my grades were bad, they weren't, I just never went. When I was there, physically at the school, I was never in a classroom. I had connections.
I remember my mother calling me and me having to get out of bed in order to answer the phone. All I heard on her end was "Oh my God, Mands are you watching this?" Watching what mom? I was sleeping before you rudely interrupted my blissful rest. Sleep was better than the history or gym class I was most likely missing at the time of the phone call. I turned the news on and then became glued to the screen. By the time my parents got home, I was able to tell them everything that the news reporters knew verbatim. I became more attuned to what was going on in the world on that very day.
I grew up in New York, like mentioned before, but the city was a good two and a half to three hours away from where I lived. So the accident didn't affect my every day activities like it did those in the city. But I knew people who were there, people who sat on the runway waiting for their flights to take off, only to find that they were not going anywhere any time in the near future. I knew people who went to school there. Knew people who lived there. I am fortunate to say however, that I did not know anyone who's life was taken far too soon on that horrific day. I just knew people who were in the right place at the right time, not in the air, not in the towers, not around the towers. I certainly didn't know anyone in the pentagon.
I went to school the next day and everyone was a buzz about what happened. I remember after that, we started having what the school called "lockdowns". Where everything would stop. Everything would shut down. We would have to find places to hide, turn off all the lights, and remain silent until the police and their dogs came around or the school administration thought we had been through enough and could resume with our days.
Having the planes fly into the towers and into the pentagon and destroy all those lives did not make me go to school more, it did not make me think less of Muslins, or be hateful to those of a different race or beliefs, it did not make me grounded. What it did do, was make me relish in my family more, it did make me take a second to think about whether I want to fly or drive anywhere (flying usually wins because my legs drive me batshit crazy after a few hours of sitting) and it did make me follow the news more and more. When I get home every night from work CNN of Fox (depending on how I want to view the world that day) will be on my television at some point throughout the evening.
I can argue the lefts and rights, I can argue the rights and the wrongs, I can argue the whites and the blacks and even the grays. I became more aware of what was going on around me.
The novel isn't so much about 9-11, but its about someones story after 9-11 and what he did, how he overcame and what he had to deal with in his life. So far it's a great story and I would recommend to anyone who wanted to listen.
Do you remember where you were when the towers were hit?
One question that comes to mind is "where was I for 9-11?"
That's easy. I was home. I was "sick". I hated high school. For me being "sick" was a common theme. Hell, I'm surprised I graduated, not because my grades were bad, they weren't, I just never went. When I was there, physically at the school, I was never in a classroom. I had connections.
I remember my mother calling me and me having to get out of bed in order to answer the phone. All I heard on her end was "Oh my God, Mands are you watching this?" Watching what mom? I was sleeping before you rudely interrupted my blissful rest. Sleep was better than the history or gym class I was most likely missing at the time of the phone call. I turned the news on and then became glued to the screen. By the time my parents got home, I was able to tell them everything that the news reporters knew verbatim. I became more attuned to what was going on in the world on that very day.
I grew up in New York, like mentioned before, but the city was a good two and a half to three hours away from where I lived. So the accident didn't affect my every day activities like it did those in the city. But I knew people who were there, people who sat on the runway waiting for their flights to take off, only to find that they were not going anywhere any time in the near future. I knew people who went to school there. Knew people who lived there. I am fortunate to say however, that I did not know anyone who's life was taken far too soon on that horrific day. I just knew people who were in the right place at the right time, not in the air, not in the towers, not around the towers. I certainly didn't know anyone in the pentagon.
I went to school the next day and everyone was a buzz about what happened. I remember after that, we started having what the school called "lockdowns". Where everything would stop. Everything would shut down. We would have to find places to hide, turn off all the lights, and remain silent until the police and their dogs came around or the school administration thought we had been through enough and could resume with our days.
Having the planes fly into the towers and into the pentagon and destroy all those lives did not make me go to school more, it did not make me think less of Muslins, or be hateful to those of a different race or beliefs, it did not make me grounded. What it did do, was make me relish in my family more, it did make me take a second to think about whether I want to fly or drive anywhere (flying usually wins because my legs drive me batshit crazy after a few hours of sitting) and it did make me follow the news more and more. When I get home every night from work CNN of Fox (depending on how I want to view the world that day) will be on my television at some point throughout the evening.
I can argue the lefts and rights, I can argue the rights and the wrongs, I can argue the whites and the blacks and even the grays. I became more aware of what was going on around me.
The novel isn't so much about 9-11, but its about someones story after 9-11 and what he did, how he overcame and what he had to deal with in his life. So far it's a great story and I would recommend to anyone who wanted to listen.
Do you remember where you were when the towers were hit?
Monday, November 10, 2014
Currently Loving
2// The Chex I am currently consuming by the handfuls for breakfast.
3// Not dragging this bleaky Monday morning. I don't know why, but for the most part, the beginning of the weeks always fly by for me. It's the end of the weeks that drag and then the weekends are non-existent.
4// The fact that maybe, just maybe my brother has given up on the idea that I am the one who needs to give the rents their first grandchild simply because I am the older one. He talked about giving the rents one just yesterday as Jess and I gave each other high fives behind his back. Maybe, just maybe, he's growing up a bit. I think the gender reveal for the neighbors grandbaby this weekend got to everyone. Hell, even I was thinking about it... but without a thing called a boyfriend, that shit is kinda hard to pull off. BUT, I asked my mother what she wanted for Christmas and she very quickly responded with a "for you to have a boyfriend" so maybe I'll start contemplating that idea as well. Maybe. (How many times do you think I could say "maybe" in this blog today?)
5// Can we get back to #1 a minute with this one?
He looks like a Frenchie here with his little arms and ears up in the air, but he's not. He's a mutt.
6// The holidays. Normally I discourage the holiday spirit because I am the one in the fam without anyone to bring to all the dinners, but this year I cannot wait to have a break and celebrate with the fam.
7// Willow. I spend some time with her yesterday and she continues to outsmart me on many levels. Like we were watching a game and there was what I thought was a snake. I said something about it and she looked at me sternly and said "its not a snake Aunt Manda, its a sand serpent". What. The. Fuck. She'll be four. Jess' bday is this weekend and Trav wants to take her out somewhere, so I told them I would watch her for a bit. I may have her for her first sleepover at Mandas house. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I love her, but I love my freedom more... right?! But its only one night. Maybe.
8// Then there's this miserable face all weekend, mad at me because of # 1 and 5.
My world.
9// Boots. Want boots for Christmas and birthday.
Can be found here.
And here.
They're not expensive. At all.
10// The fact that I finally finished Allegiant (the last book of the Divergent series). It was awful. I hated it. I wanted it to be like the first two, but no. Veronica Roth lost me on the last one. Mind you, I didn't care that Tris died, when I heard that she was going to before I even read it I was like okay, makes for a more interesting story line. Then she lives through the "death serum" and dies because she was shot? What. The. Fuck. Who does that? Why let her live through the serum then? And I couldn't get over the whole PMS thing from both Tris and Tobias. I really wanted them to stop whining, hating and then loving each other and just grow up. I felt like the end of the series was such a waste of my time. I should've stopped after the first two.
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Thursday Confession Session
One \\ Scandal. I find myself both wanting to be more like Olivia Pope and then I find that there are ways that we are similar and I dont want to be like her anymore.
But then she says shit like that and I want to be her all over again.
Two \\ Sleep.. is missing from my life and I need it back. Like ASAP. I was away all weekend, hoping around like some teenager or 21 year old going on a binge. I stayed up way too late, woke up too early, was here, was there. Now I'm home and I still cant get back to my "home by 6, in pjs by 6:05, curled up with dinner and my DVR by 6:10" routine. I have dinner meetings, dinner parties, work shit that needs to be done. All I have to say is whomever makes me do anything this weekend will get kicked.
Three \\ Halloween. Havent bought candy for those little twerps that will most likely be knocking on my door. Havent decided if I want to go to Jess' house or not to celebrate and see Willowbug. Havent spoken with her about it to see if I was still invited to begin with now that her and Trav are at odds. Havent thought about going out because I never go out and certainly not dressed up as anything for Halloween.
Four \\ Dinner meetings. I hate them. Especially when I know who is going to be at these dinner meetings. I dont have the patience.
My papa is going to be at this dinner meeting though. Its the only plus side. The only reason why my soul doesnt plead for me to end the suckiness that is my job. I guess its one of the best perks of working in the same field as my father. I dont have to work with him every day, but I get to have meetings, get to consult, and chat about anything I need to with him. It makes things easier. However, on the daily, trying to deal with some people makes me not want to get out of bed... ever.
Five \\ Sibling nonsense. I really want to punch my brother in the face sometimes. I mean, most of the time. He can be sweet, loving and kind, but damn if he aint the biggest ass 95% of the time. I dont get his antics or why he does what he does sometimes, but then again, there are moments when I see pieces of me, pieces of who I used to be in him, and I want to warn him. I cant however, because we cant have that conversation. It would only make me look absolutely batshit crazy. But for real, I think if he knew now, what I know, then he would be different, he would be happier.
Six \\ "She is well practiced in the art of losing herself. I can't say that same of myself." Tris- "Divergent" Makes me think about myself, my brother and some of the other people that I know. I wake up every morning thinking a certain way, and then by the end of it, something changes. I lose myself to the person I need to be at work, then I lose myself to the person I need to be in front of my rents, and in front of my friends. All three of those people combined dont even make the me I think I am. With my brother its the same thing for the most part. Although, I am really starting to think that hes bipolar because.... fuck! He loses himself, or what I think is himself when he drinks, when his eyes change color, when the lights go out. Its never the same. He is never the same for long. I am always changing. Maybe for the best, maybe not, but everyday I portray atleast three different versions of me.
Seven \\ Vacation. Need one. Thinking tropical. Island. Fruity drinks. Books galore. Carefree fun. and sleep, lots and lots of uninterrupted sleep.
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