But then she says shit like that and I want to be her all over again.
Two \\ Sleep.. is missing from my life and I need it back. Like ASAP. I was away all weekend, hoping around like some teenager or 21 year old going on a binge. I stayed up way too late, woke up too early, was here, was there. Now I'm home and I still cant get back to my "home by 6, in pjs by 6:05, curled up with dinner and my DVR by 6:10" routine. I have dinner meetings, dinner parties, work shit that needs to be done. All I have to say is whomever makes me do anything this weekend will get kicked.
Three \\ Halloween. Havent bought candy for those little twerps that will most likely be knocking on my door. Havent decided if I want to go to Jess' house or not to celebrate and see Willowbug. Havent spoken with her about it to see if I was still invited to begin with now that her and Trav are at odds. Havent thought about going out because I never go out and certainly not dressed up as anything for Halloween.
Four \\ Dinner meetings. I hate them. Especially when I know who is going to be at these dinner meetings. I dont have the patience.
My papa is going to be at this dinner meeting though. Its the only plus side. The only reason why my soul doesnt plead for me to end the suckiness that is my job. I guess its one of the best perks of working in the same field as my father. I dont have to work with him every day, but I get to have meetings, get to consult, and chat about anything I need to with him. It makes things easier. However, on the daily, trying to deal with some people makes me not want to get out of bed... ever.
Five \\ Sibling nonsense. I really want to punch my brother in the face sometimes. I mean, most of the time. He can be sweet, loving and kind, but damn if he aint the biggest ass 95% of the time. I dont get his antics or why he does what he does sometimes, but then again, there are moments when I see pieces of me, pieces of who I used to be in him, and I want to warn him. I cant however, because we cant have that conversation. It would only make me look absolutely batshit crazy. But for real, I think if he knew now, what I know, then he would be different, he would be happier.
Six \\ "She is well practiced in the art of losing herself. I can't say that same of myself." Tris- "Divergent" Makes me think about myself, my brother and some of the other people that I know. I wake up every morning thinking a certain way, and then by the end of it, something changes. I lose myself to the person I need to be at work, then I lose myself to the person I need to be in front of my rents, and in front of my friends. All three of those people combined dont even make the me I think I am. With my brother its the same thing for the most part. Although, I am really starting to think that hes bipolar because.... fuck! He loses himself, or what I think is himself when he drinks, when his eyes change color, when the lights go out. Its never the same. He is never the same for long. I am always changing. Maybe for the best, maybe not, but everyday I portray atleast three different versions of me.
Seven \\ Vacation. Need one. Thinking tropical. Island. Fruity drinks. Books galore. Carefree fun. and sleep, lots and lots of uninterrupted sleep.
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